I've been looking for a new stack so I'm trying FitMiss. James is trying out the Con-Crēt by Promera Sports. We're both doing Cellucor Alpha Amino and MusclePharm Re-Con. Day 1 and I like them all so far. The Con-Cret didn't upset his stomach so that's awesome! I'll keep you all updates on how the stacks fare!
Beware of jealousy, my lord! It’s a green-eyed monster that makes fun of the victims it devours. ![]() I spend countless hours online, researching workouts and routines I can try. I log late nights trying to figure out diet plans or tips to try. I find myself often looking at female body trainers and fitness gurus, trying to connect on a gender level. More often than not, I find myself rolling my eyes at some of the ways they frame the benefits of following their plans: wearing smaller jeans and tighter clothes, about being hotter and sexier.
Sometimes the substance of the programs – eat clean, train hard, fuck the pink Barbie weights, and fuck girl push-ups – really appealed to me. Sadly, though, most of the time it's all about cardio, a million squats, 3 lb weights, glitter, and at the heart of it, it's all about looking better than the other woman. Why is it never about a great body building routine for a woman? Don't get me wrong, I love glitter, I do my squats, and I'll do cardio; but, I don't need to look better than anyone. It's just frustrating when the motivation provided is to be better than someone else and I can't do it like the big boys. We're really talking about two things here: Why are women being told that cardio, squats, and light weight is the only thing to do and what is with the woman-on-woman hatred in the fitness world?! I touched on the first question already, but I'm angry and want to talk about the second. When did this become a marketing tool? When did getting fit become a competition with anyone other than yourself? Jealousy? Envy? Meanness? How does this even belong in a gym? More importantly, when did adult women become so darn mean? Are we still in high school? Did some never grow up? More often than not, I run across women in the gym that are far more fit than I. And more often than not, I get the dirtiest looks ever. I'm not thin, but I still wear the skin tight exercise clothes. Have you ever tried to do a heavy row with layers of fabric? It doesn't work. I'm not fit, but I will be. That doesn't mean I deserve eye rolls or dirty looks. A lot of times I can't help but wonder if it's because I'm working out/dating a good looking fit man. Other times I think it's just the fact I'm there. I was told once to not "forget cardio!" with a smug smile. How is this helpful? How does this benefit anyone? I now find myself befriending the large Hans and Frans men in the gym. They really are some of the nicest people I've ever met. They teach me new routines and can probably bench press me. What does that get me? More dirty looks. And still I have a yearning for a female friend in the gym. There are just certain things a male lifter cannot understand. Things like manipulating the barbell around your boobs while doing an upright row. Things like how to do a good T-row without smashing your boobs. But women at the gym have no desire to talk to anyone that isn't them. Why is that? Someone tell me because I don't have the answer. I honestly don't understand this and I don't know how to even fix it. Why does there have to be this divide? Why is it always such a battlefield for women? There is no need to compete. What happened to just supporting each other? My best friend has almost lost as much weight as I have. She and I live a continent apart now. We both struggled with weight problems for some time. She chose to get surgery. I keep getting stuck and trying new routines. We did what was right for each of us. And guess what? She's my inspiration. She says I inspire her. It's not a competition. I learn so much from her. I'm so proud of her. I can't imagine being jealous of someone I love so much. Now why can't this happen to everyone? I'm not saying I'm perfect. I can honestly say I get really jealous of women who are naturally thin and go to the gym to put on weight. I see women able to run a few days a week and do a few squats and have an amazing frame. I get insanely jealous when I see women with horrible form and great bodies, simply because for them that's enough. It's hard when you work so hard and see such slow results. But I also don't want to look better than them. I actually often want to help them, show them how to do the exercise so they can benefit more (but apparently that, too, is frowned upon). My question to you is, how do we fix this? Is it fixable? What can you do to stop the woman-on-woman gym hatred? There are so many kick ass reasons to fill your life with fitness.The prospect of tearing down other women and making them feel insecure does not need to be one of those reasons. It’s challenging enough to be a woman in this world. Let’s stop making it harder for each other than it already is. |